July 25, 2009

I’m back in Ecuador. My visit home was amazing. My mother’s surgery went really well and it looks like the cancer has not spread to the lymph nodes. I am so grateful for that. She recovered relatively rapidly. A couple bumps in the hospital—the patient care was less than stellar. But once we got her home she was up and moving about in a few days. I’m so glad that I was able to be there for my mother. She has done so much for me (beginning with the whole giving me life thing), and although I’ll never be able to come close to repaying her, it felt good to take care of her a little bit.

My brother was also able to come home for the weekend. This summer he is a site director for ASP in Kentucky. At first it didn’t look like he was able to come home, but a friend of the family pulled some strings and got him a few days off. So we had the whole family together again for the first time in over a year. Although the reason behind this happy reunion was less than ideal, we were greatful for the opportunity to be together again.

Returning to Ecuaodr was not fun. I booed all the way to the airport. Leaving my parents was extremely difficult. It did get easier, however, once I was about halfway between Miami and Guayaquil. It is like I have two completely separate realities: my Peace Corp reality and my US reality. Crossing between the two is difficult. It was not easy going to the US either. But once I complete the transition, I’m ok. That probably didn’t make any sense… but that is how I feel.

Since the kids were on vacation this week, I took the week off two adjust to being in Ecuador again. I spent most of the past few days reading. I’ve gotten into the bad habit of not finishing books once I start them. Upon my return to Ecuador I was in the middle of about 8 books. My goal is to not start any more books until I have finished at least 5. So far I have completed 3 of those books.

One great thing about Peace Corps is that we have plenty of time for reading. Here is a list of all the books that I have read (and completed) so far… or at least the ones that I remember.

1. Friday Night Knitting Club: Oh my God! So good. Like Steel Magnolias, but set in New York. Made me want to learn how to knit.
2. Lipstick Jihad: Just finished this book today. It is a memoir about an Iranian woman who grew up in the United States after her family was exiled by the coup in 1971. She later went back to Iran to be a reporter for Time magazine. It is very good and full of interesting insights and vivid depictions of the repression still going on in Iran. My only complaint was that the conclusion is way to drawn out. Other than that, good book!
3. You Belong to Me: An easy read. It is a mystery book that a friend of my mother’s sent me. The ending surprised my, but then again, I’m not very good at figuring out the twists and subtle clues. Entertaining, and exactly the kind of book I needed at the time.
4. Prisoner of Birth: Another easy read. This book was a modern day retelling of The Count of Monte Cristo, a book I read years ago and really enjoyed. I loved Monte Cristo, and similarly liked this book.
5. Santiago’s Children: I finished this book yesterday. Actually, this book was the first one that I read straight through without moving on to another one in a while. VERY GOOD. It is a memoir of a guy who went to live and work in an orphanage in Chile in the early 1980s. For those of you who don’t know your Latin American history, the dictator Pinochet was in power during this period and there was a lot of political repression. Reading this book was very interesting for me because a lot of the author’s experiences, thoughts, and emotions are very familiar to mine; others, not at all. This book made me question a lot about what I am doing in Ecuador, and what it all means. I HIGHLY recommend this book!
6. The Constant Princess: I am a big fan of historical fiction. This book, as well as the next two on my list, are written by my favorite historical fiction author Phillipa Gregory. This particular book is about Catherine of Aragon. Although not as entertaining as the next two, this book was pretty good. I like it!
7. The Other Boleyn Girl: I really liked this book. This one is about Mary and Anne Boleyn. It is actually very different than the movie. Tons more scandalous!!
8. The Boleyn Inheritance: This is the first book I read by Phillipa Gregory and my favorite. It is about two more of Henry VIII's wives: Anne of Guise and Katherine Howard. Every chapter is written from the point of view of Anne, Katherine, or Jane Boleyn. Very good and lots of juicy scandal.
9. Mademoiselle Boleyn: This historical fiction book is written from Anne Boleyn’s point of view during her time growing up in the French court. Since there isn't a lot known about her childhood, most of it is obviously fiction. It was strange to read at times because quite a bit of what happens in this book conflicts with The Other Boleyn Girl, which is written by a different author. This book is good in that it is very sympathetic towards Anne, who is usually portrayed as a scheming, power-hungry, shrew. I liked it.
10. The King's Daughter: This book is about Henry VIII’s mother, Elizabeth of York. It is alright, but not as good as the Tudor books written by Phillipa Gregory. I didn’t like some of the imaginative turns that the author took. Still, a decent book.
11. The Russian Concubine: I really liked this book about a spunky Russian girl growing up in China. My only complaint was that the heroine never bothered to learn Chinese, despite having lived in that country for most of her life. She only hung out with English speakers and hence, only spoke that language. Near the end of the book, however, she began to learn Russian and that redeemed her in my eyes. Anyway, very good and I can’t wait till I get my hands on the sequel!
12. P.S. I Love You: I read this book after seeing the movie. I loved the movie. I sobbed during it! Sobbed! I haven’t sobbed from a movie in years. This book is very different than the movie, but just as deliciously heartbreaking!
13. Angela’s Ashes: I loved this book! So funny, and yet poignantly heartbreaking. It was interesting reading about the extreme poverty while working as a PCV. I highly recommend this book.
14. Tis: Not as good as the first, but still really good. I liked how the author didn’t portray himself as perfect, but as human. Many of his mistakes were hugely apparent—like a marriage that we all knew was doomed from the beginning or his drinking problem, yet he never shied away from it. Even his most embarrassing moments. I can’t wait to get my hands on his third book.
15. Bergdorf Blonds: Dumb, dumb, DUMB! I wanted something light and easy. This book was too much of that. So weird reading about rich people complaining about having to fly commercial when my biggest complaint is my constant lack of runnin water.
16. 2001 A Space Odyssey: Bad, bad, weird, strange, bad. I read this book looking for interesting insights and allegories. After all, it is supposed to be pretty famous. I was wrong. It is just weird. Ok, at first it is interesting science fiction. But near the end it just descends into the most bizarre thing I’ve ever read. Do yourself a favor, never read this book.
17. The Bookseller of Kabul: SO GOOD!!! During the recent War in Afghanistan, the author was sent to the country--I believe--to report. One day in Kabul, she ended up meeting this bookseller whom she quickly became fascinated with. The bookseller eventually invited her into his home so that she could observe him and his family for several months in order to write a book about them. This book, with slight alterations, is the result. It is extremely fascinating to read about these complex characters and the struggles and poverty they have had to overcome. READ IT!
18. Sushi for Beginners: Eh. Not too great. But I needed something light and fluffy at the time, and this book filled that requirement. Don’t read this book unless it is a last resort.
19. The Map of Love: I don’t really recommend this book. It was alright, but it dragged at many parts. This story is set in Egypt and jumps back and forth between modern day (being the 1990s) and the beginning of the 20th century as it recounts two parallel stories. I liked the historical tidbits and the occasional Arabic thrown in, but only one of the two stories was interesting and I had to pull myself through the boring parallel story.
20. The Crystal Cave: This fantasy book is the first in a series of four that my mother recommended to me. All are written from the point of view of Merlin. The first one is about his childhood and continues until the conception of the future King Arthur. It is pretty good, but it takes a lot of concentration. Not a light, easy read.
21. The Hollow Hills: The second book in the series. In this book, Merlin recounts Arthur’s childhood. It ends with Arthur sleeping with his half sister and then his horror when he learns what he did.
22. The Forever King: One of my volunteer friends lent me this book, telling me that it was originally an assigned reading book in high school but she liked it so much that she’s repeatedly read it since then. It is a fantasy book about reincarnation, the Holy Grail, and King Arthur and his crew reborn in modern times. It was alright. An easy read.
23. Beneath a Marble Sky: This is the first book that I read in Peace Corps. I loved it and lent it to a bunch of volunteers who all loved it. I no longer have any idea where this book is :(. Oh well. Anyway, this book is a love story that takes place around the building of the Taj Mahal. It definitely solidified my desire to travel to India.
24. Beautiful Boy: This book is written by a well known author about his son’s addiction with meth. It is a good book and very poignant, but drags near the end. The author does not know when to wrap up, summarize, and say good-bye. His son’s in rehab, out of rehab, disappeared, found, in rehab, out of, disappeared, found, etc. And each time the cycle repeats, the author reintroduces his conflicted emotions. I’d say that it is good until the last 100 pages, which are mostly superfluous.

July 5, 2009

They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. It certainly proved true for my love for the United States. I’m hoping that my upcoming trip to the States will have a similar effect on my love for Ecuador. My listlessness is deepening as I struggle to get my counterpart to follow through on his promises, as I watch a national governmental organization unexpectedly grapple with problems that anyone with an ounce of foresight could have predicted and by neighbors struggle with the repercussions, and as I prepare to say good-bye to four of the five volunteers that lived around my and provided me with a support network. Lately, I’ve been spending a lot of time studying for the GREs, picking out grad schools, and reading books. I know that this is just a phase and that I will eventually pull myself out of this slump. I just need time… and maybe of visit to the good ol’ U S of A!

Complaining aside, I spent Thursday afternoon and Friday in Cayambe. On Thursday I visited with my host family. Everyone seems well, normal complaints aside. On Friday morning the Peace Corps volunteers and trainees had an early 4^th of July celebration, complete with potato salad, cole slaw, fruit salad, delicious guacamole, hot dogs, hamburgers, and kabobs! A 100% American feast. No bananas. No rice! Nothing deep fried when it could be cooked to perfection on the grill. It was great!

July 2, 2009

I know I have been a deadbeat blogger. As Iimay so astutely pointed out to me, I haven’t updated my blog in over a month. Sorry. Frankly, I have been in a bit of an Ecua-funk lately and did not want to spread my negativity to around. Nothing much has changed in the past few weeks—work is actually picking up. It is just that I’ve been in Ecuador for a year (as of June 18th… whoop!) and I’m sick of dealing when the same problems: people not showing up or showing up an hour late, people canceling at the very last minute and leaving me to take the fall, and people saying things the don’t mean and me knowing they don’t mean it when they say it. I just don’t want to deal with it anymore! Why can’t anyone else be reliable!?

In addition to my Ecua-blues, I recently had my 1-year check up and learned that I have gained 10 lbs. in the last year. In the States, anyone who knows me just a little knows that I was a huge exercise/ gym fanatic. It was my way to deal with stress, boost my self-esteem, and work through whatever problem was bothering me. I don’t do that anymore. It is not safe to run around here and all the gyms in Machala are crappy. I lost a huge part of my life and I don’t know how to recover that.

To top off my 1-year blues, I recently learned that my mother is sick and needs an operation. I decided to return to the States to be there to help take care of her. And while I am so excited about going back, it is hard to be happy about the reason behind my going back. My upcoming visit also means that I won’t be able to return for my friend’s wedding in October which I was really looking forward to.

Life, of course, hasn’t stopped because I’ve got the negativity blues. I am now teaching workshops (self-esteem, body changes, what is menstruation, maternity/ paternity, HIV, STDs, contraception, values, drugs and alcohol prevention, etc.) in the elementary and high schools. It is amazing how little this kids know… no wonder they are constantly getting pregnant. We have an anonymous question bag in which all the kids have to write a question, regardless of whether they really have one or not. Most questions concern what is HIV or AIDS, what is sex (mostly from the elementary school kids), how to masturbate (high school), sexuality, abortion, and what to do when someone is pregnant. There is a ton of need for someone to talk openly and honestly to these kids. Now if only I can get my counterpart to stop flaking out on me….

A few weeks ago Peace Corps invited me to come to Cayambe to give a training session on income generation projects to the next group of Youth & Family and Health volunteers. For those of you who read my blog from the beginning, do you remember all those boring training sessions that I complained about exactly a year ago? Yeah, well I was invited to come and help be a part of that! I was really honored!!! I invited my old counterpart to accompany me and yesterday the two of us made disinfectant with the trainees and talked about the small business that we started in my community. I think it went really well.

Anyway, sorry about being so delinquent. I will try to be better in the future. Just try to understand that I am going through some personal stuff right now and after a hard day, sometimes it is a lot easier to watch a movie or read a book that recount every frustrating detail that I encountered.

May 27, 2009

About 2 weeks ago, a good friend of mine from the States came to visit me. Unfortunately, a few days after his arrival, Peace Corps put all volunteers on standfast (not allowed to travel) because of the swine flu. Now seriously, I don’t see what the big scare is about. The actual flu has killed more people than this swine flu, AND every volunteer already has the cure (tamiflu) in his/her medical kit. So why is everyone so freaked out? Who knows.

So anyway, we spent most of his visit hanging out in my oh-so-exciting (NOT!) site. Then, last Wednesday my grounding was lifted and we decided to visit my volunteer friend Laney* in the Oriente (Jungle). We left Friday night for Cuenca and spent the night there. Then on Saturday morning, we prepared ourselves for a miserable bazillion-hour bus ride to the jungle. It is very small and extremely remote, but I fell in love with it immediately. Laney is pretty unhappy there (and with reason, it isn’t a good match for her on-the-move personality), but it was so gorgeous. Sunday morning my State-side friend returned to Cuenca and Laney and I went on a 2 ½ hour hike through the knee-deep mud to visit another PCV who has ‘gone-native.’ (Gone-native means PCVs that are so integrated in their community that they probably will never leave and, even if they do, will have a hard time fitting back into American society.) It was a difficult hike and extremely muddy, but so worth it. They scenery was just breath taking!

I left for Cuenca Monday morning. It was sad to say good-bye to my friend, knowing that I was leaving this pristine jungle and going back to my hot, dirty, smelly, banana-infested life on the other side of Ecuador. I know, I know I love my life here… but, sometimes it gets to be too much. I arrived in Cuenca in the afternoon, but unable to bare another bus ride… and the impending heat, I called another volunteer friend in Cuenca and asked if I could crash at her place. She agreed, and we spent a lovely evening chatting/gossiping and walking around the city.

All good things must come to and end, as so must my vacation. Forced to accept the inevitable, Tuesday morning I boarded a bus for home. As soon as I returned, I was pushed/pulled back into my normal volunteer life—kids visiting me every few minutes, people requesting my help, the librarian chattering to me about something, etc. I must say, it is nice. As much as I loved the jungle, this is where I belong; this is where I am needed.

*I changed her name. So sue me :p

May 10, 2009

My reading club started on Friday. It went alright. I'm afraid I was a bit too successful at publicizing my club and a few too many kids showed up than was desirable. As honored as I am at the large turnout, 45 kids (plus a crazy librarian) is a bit too much to handle by oneself. Especially, when "no talking while the teacher is talking" is not widely practiced. Nevertheless, I believe I did the best anyone could do in my situation. My hope is that the novelty of my club will go down after a month or so and I will (hopefully) be left with those who are actually interested. Cross your fingers for me!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM!!!! I love you!

May 5, 2009

Last week, Maria, a little girl who leave catty-corner to me, stopped by my house to inform me that she was turning 10 on Friday, May 1. She also bragged that her mother was going to buy a cake for her to pass out amongst her classmates and that she was going to save a piece for me! Several days later, Maris found it prudent to remind me her birthday was coming up. In case I had forgotten.

I kept an eye out for Maria all weekend, but she never stopped by. Then, today, I saw her mother and asked her how the birthday celebrations went. Her mother informed me that they couldn't´t afford to buy a birthday cake or presents for Maria, despite the fact that Maria had already informed all her friends that she would get one. Maria spent the whole day crying.

I felt so sad for Maria, so I asked her mother if it was ok if I baked a cake with Maria for her birthday. Her mother agreed to send Maria to my house after she had finished her homework. A few hours later, Maria arrived at my doorstep. When I informed her that we were going to bake her a cake, her whole face lit up. She told me that this would be her first birthday cake EVER!!!! Together, we made (from scratch) a chocolate cake with chocolate icing, decorated with TONS of sprinkles, and topped it with a candle. It turned out beautifully, if I do say so myself! I must say, it was pretty rewarding. Sometimes I don't always feel like I am making much of a difference, or if what I do even matters. But today I gave a little girl her first birthday cake. That must count for something!

May 1, 2009

The election finally ended. The thousands of posters disappeared overnight, people stopped shouting propaganda from bullhorns, and the money magically appeared to pay the government employee's long overdue salaries, plus a little extra for the hardship of going 2 months without pay. I even managed to get someone to finally fix the internet connection at the library. After 2 months of begging the Municipio to send someone, they finally complied. And the problem? One wire was in the wrong place. It took all of 2 minutes to fix. GRRRR!!!!

I finally met my counterpart. He seems like a nice enough guy. I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt and convinced myself that he didn't know about the meeting his boss set up with me. I figure nagging him about being stood up would be fruitless. I am in Ecuador, after all, and not showing up is a normal occurrence. So this week I have been introducing him to many INFA families around my site. I think he will do a pretty good job.

I am not sure why, but INFA has not yet given the families the scholarships that allow their children to go to school. Since school opened back up in April, the families have had to purchase the books, uniforms, shoes, pencils, etc. with money that they do not have. They badly need to be reimbursed, but have to wait till the end of May. Why INFA would inflict such hardship on their families is beyond me. Some of the stories I've heard are truly heartbreaking. Seriously, what difference can I truly make in the face of such extreme poverty?